This is something I’ve struggled with for quite some time. What is a soulmate? Does true love exist? And if so, what are they and how can we achieve them?
To get right to the essence, I believe that the key distinction to make is that when acting through the persona (the mask that we wear as we interact with other people) it is impossible to achieve true love, and that the only way to find a real soulmate is to get in touch with our own emotional selves and to express them to that other person.
So, finding true love necessitates both people dropping their egos and baring their souls to each other. It couldn’t be any other way. Relationships based on the ego-personna are false, they have no basis in reality, the reality which we are.
Let’s see what true love is not: For one thing, it is not a business relationship. It is not about money, job “status,” physicality, or anything else shallow. Finding a soulmate is not about going to some bar and picking up some woman or man you don’t know. True love is not about looking at another person and thinking about what you can get out of him or her. In the end, this is a vulgar way to look at relationships. The egoistic way. No wonder so many people never find “their” soulmate!
True love is not about sex either. It is about honest and direct communication between two people who respect eachother and resonate together in an indescribable way.
It’s all about you wanting to give valule to her or him. And not money-value, of course. Human value.
I think that the people who don’t realize this basic truth never find what they’re looking for, because, in the end, they’re only looking to gratify themselves. Maybe they’ll find a stopgap “relationship” to fill the basic hole in their egos and to top up their low self-esteem. But if it’s not authentic, it will probably be in vain. It certainly won’t be true love.
As I write this, I’m single and I live alone. But I’ve made the decision to be as authentic as possible with women and to see what happens. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not. I won’t wear some stupid clothes I don’t like, get a job I despise or pretend I’m a millionaire just to impress a woman. I think that the only way to find a soulmate is to be yourself, express yourself and go for it. So I’m giving myself the opportunity for a real relationship to emerge.
It sounds romantic to say and to believe that true love will fall out of the sky and find us. But in reality, we have to do the things that will increase our chances of finding the people that we want in our lives. If we don’t go out searching, what can we expect to find? Nothing. So being ourselves and just going for it is all we can do.
Now, is there another avenue? Yes, there is. You can go out there and “date,” buy a new car, play “the game,” and have a good time. But finding true love like this is not very likely, if you’re relying on tactics and external things. Like I said at the beginning, dropping the persona is essential to real communication.
The choice is ours to make!
