“I hate life.” Have you heard anyone say it? Have you ever said it yourself, or thought it? Well, people, I’m here to tell you that I used to think “I hate life!” quite often.
Here are four ways in which we create our own misery and ensure that our life sucks.
1. Living through the intentions of others.
Doing this can be so astoundingly bad that it can ruin your entire life. Do you allow external factors and peer pressure to determine your choices in life? Do you find yourself hating your life or hating your job because you were convinced to take that job by others and the job didn’t suit you?
I’ve done this. I did it during my university years. The verdict: it sucked! Badly. And I paid for it dearly. Let me explain: I was studying the wrong subject for me. My decision in choosing what to study was based on analytical thinking and on what others told me. I had no idea. I was only 17, after all, when the “what to study” decision had to be made, since the matrix-contrived school system demanded it.
After figuring out that “my” choice wasn’t for me, and that it didn’t suit my character, I ended up finishing the degree anyways, because I gave in to the external pressure my parents. The result? Well, I trudged through, spent most of my time playing musical instruments and did the minimum amount required to pass. I was good in academics, so it was easy for me. After university, I ended up in a “career” job that really, really, really made me think “I hate my life.”
Lesson learned: if you allow others peoples’ intentions to influence your decisions, then your decisions are not your own, and when your decisions are not your own, they often conflict with who you truly are. Make sure your decisions are your own.
2. Having goals that are set in stone.
Sometimes, goals can sneak up on us as if by stealth. They deposit themselves in our brains through society. One blatant and damaging example is setting goals that are based on achieving some kind of perceived “social status.” How many people choose a career based on what society’s opinion of that career is? Plenty. Are they happy? Perhaps some of them are, but, judging by the number of “lawyers” and “doctors” in psychiatrists’ and psychologists’ offices, I wager a guess that some of them are not. Many of them are not.
Sometimes we hypnotize ourselves with our own goals, which we have chosen. So it is important to make your own goals and at the same time to make your goals flexible enough to be be able to change them if they don’t feel right. After all, people chase after good emotions and not good professional titles. Titles are mere substitutes. They cannot lead to lasting good emotions.
3. Having no goals whatsoever.
This one might seem obvious, but it’s very important. What if you don’t know what you want? What if you’re not sure? You can set a temporary goal and aim towards it, knowing that if you find out that it’s not for you, you can always change your goal. In my life, the periods in which I had no goals were dead periods during which I accomplished practically nothing. Just carrying on with the daily grind and assuming there’s nothing more. What a waste!
4. Having a crusty self-image.
Let’s take an example. Suppose you’re 27 years old. You’ve had a couple of jobs you hated, you sucked at them and made quite a few blunders. Let’s also suppose that you’re male, had trouble getting a girlfriend and had a weight problem.
If you now define yourself by looking into the past, who will you become in the future? You’ll become a poor sap who sucks at the jobs he gets, hates his life, sucks at getting chicks and, to define it in matrix dweller (ie: MD=medical doctor) fashion, you will suffer from a mild to moderate beer belly syndrome for which there is no cure.
When you define yourself based on your past, you’re putting a curse on yourself. The labels you attach to yourself are linguistic curses that keep you trapped in the same behavioral patterns. The images you have in your mind will be images of failure and misery. What else could they be? They’re based on the past. And the past wasn’t good. Hey, let’s make sure that your future life sucks too!
Stop defining yourself based on your past, especially if your past has been unpleasant. Even if your past has been good, and you have good memories, you’re still limiting yourself by defining yourself based on the past. Self-labeling hinders personal growth. People stagnate. Stagnation leads to boredom. Boredom sucks.
As I said in my first post, that’s the essence of my blog. Transforming oneself continuously and aiming for constant self-evolution in all aspects of life.