I’m going to make this short and to the point. Why is it that through high school, university and into their mid-twenties, or even later, some guys have serious problems getting a girlfriend and others seem to be pulling in women like bees on their summer can of Pepsi? As someone who has had some experience with this, I’m going to explain 4 basic principles that guys violate which in turn ruin their chances with many women.
1. Indecisiveness.
Women don’t like indecisiveness. Guys who don’t make decisions are just not attractive to most women. It is better to make a decision, any decision, than to be with a woman and fret over what you are going to do. On one level this is purely biological: When a woman wants to have kids with a man, she wants to know that he will be able to take care of his family. In the modern world, what this amounts to is making the right decisions for the family, including, of course, the financial decisions.
On another level, it is emotional: If a guy can’t decide where he wants to go eat on a date, this will automatically make a woman feel uncomfortable. Why? Well, how is this guy going to respond in her moments of emotional need when he can’t decide between sushi and stir-fry?
When a woman has negative emotions, she needs to know that her boyfriend or husband is going to be there to help her overcome the negativity. Being indecisive indicates to her that the guy she’s with may not be emotionally strong when she needs him to be.
If you go on a date with a woman and she asks you what you want to do or what you want to eat, and you respond by saying that you don’t know, immediately, this sends the wrong signal to her subconscious. As a matter of fact, in all these little decisions, almost any decision is better than no decision. For example, I know that I should never say “I don’t know” when asked where I want to go for dinner. A better answer is: “Let’s go eat there,” and mention some place. Any place. If you show her that you can’t even make a simple decision, you’ve probably already lost her.
2. Caring about outcomes.
Caring about the outcomes of your interactions with women and seeking the approval of your dates is a losing game. Most women don’t like guys who hang on their every word, seeking their approval and trying to suck up to them. It’s just not attractive. If you’re sucking up to women, stop now.
Think of it this way: No single date is important. If you make a fool of yourself, you’ll probably never see her again anyways. Who cares? There are always others.
Another thing you can do if you screw up is to make fun of yourself and joke about your mistakes, showing that you’re comfortable with yourself as you are. I’ve done this many times. It actually makes women laugh very often. It turns a screw-up into an advantage instantly.
It makes sense, really. Being your true self, developing self-confidence, expressing who you are and letting the chips fall where they may, is actually very attractive to women. It shows them that you’re not needy. Neediness is not a good characteristic at all. As I said in my post on soulmates, first you have to learn how to rely on yourself and only then can you have an authentic relationship with the opposite sex. There’s no point whatsoever in being false.
3. Being too influenced by others.
Letting others change your mind all the time is unattractive. Women tend to be attracted to guys who do their own thing and follow their own path in life. It shows independence. Do what you want in the moment. Experiment and try new things. It’s that simple. It works.
4. Having a mission in life.
Finding a passion, something you strive towards, something beyond your relationships with other people, a mission: This is one of the keys to attracting women. Women like guys who want to make something of their lives. So, if your only goal is to fish, watch sports on TV and drink beer, don’t expect to have a big selection of women at your door. It just doesn’t work that way. Inspiration is one of the most important keys to attracting quality women.
Of course, this is just a basic outline of a vast subject. However, now that I’m over 30 years old and have some real experience behind me, I can honestly say that the aforementioned principles are very important to come to grips with for all guys who want to have success with women. Ten or twelve years ago, in my university years, I used to violate these principles often. The results were not very good. My selection was miniscule compared to what I have now.
I think that after reading, studying and thinking about these things, and then actually putting these principles into practice and trying out new things, I can honestly say that by following these four principles and by taking a good, hard, objective look at yourself and making improvements in all areas, you can become more successful with women as well.
For more information on how to get a girlfriend successfully, please look at my previous post on the subject.
